


Speak Now

by Adriana_Morgan



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Decisions, Best Friends, Cheating, Difficult Decisions, Dressing Room Sex, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Infidelity, Emotional Sex, Engagement, F/M, Fingerfucking, First Love, First Time, Forbidden Love, French Kissing, Getting The Girl, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Interrupted Wedding, Kissing, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Obsession, Oral Sex, POV 707 | Luciel Choi, Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Surprises, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virginity, Waiting, Wedding Planning, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-26 16:38:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14406168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adriana_Morgan/pseuds/Adriana_Morgan
Summary: Based loosely on Yoosung's good ending. For years, Luciel has loved you from afar. But one wish made in jest turns everything he thought he knew on its head.  Now can he sit back and watch the woman he loves marry another man? Even if that man is his best friend?





	1. Do You Take Thee?

**Author's Note:**

> Of course, it's not an Adriana_Morgan fic without music. So here are the first three of the playlist: 
> 
> Moondust - Jaymes Young  
> Kiss The Girl - Chase Holfelder  
> Fear of the Water - SYML

A small, black, velvet box sits in the middle of the table next to the remnants of half-eaten pizza and empty drink glasses. Remnants of lunch litter the surface of the pizza joint’s Formica table top. His eyes dart around the inconspicuous items, feigning interest as he picks up each of the usual trappings, in turn, to study it carefully; doing anything to avoid looking at the compact object that contains the end to all his hopes and dreams.

“I’m going to do it,” Yoosung declares nervously, wiping his palms on the fabric of his jeans.

“Do what?” Luciel inquires, doing his best to stall for time. His heart is in his throat, panic making his hands tremble. It’s not as if this comes as a surprise to him. MC has been dating Yoosung for years now and everyone knew marriage was inevitable. So what if she and Luciel spent many nights together goofing off? Designated movie night had become a thing a year ago when they both discovered their taste in flicks was the same. Horror movies were something Yoosung could not tolerate, so she and the horror fanatic would spend one night a week at his place, cramming in as many features as possible until their eyes drooped in exhaustion. Hell, she had even ended up crashing on his couch more times than he could count.

Those nights were the best of his life. Unable to sleep with her in the next room, he would sit in the large armchair situated across from the sofa and watch as she slumbered. Always careful, his eyes would observe her; how peacefully her chest rose and fell, and how a lovely smile would grace her lips at whatever dream she was having. Of course, he knew this was creepy behavior, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. After doing this for the third time, he had to admit to himself that he loves her. Not in a friendly, brotherly way, but in a head over heels, would lay down his life to keep her safe kind of way. He dared tell no one his feelings, not even her; especially not her. At least not yet.

Yoosung is his best friend and loves her more than life itself. Can Luciel really try to steal away the one thing that’s managed to make his friend turn his life around? On the other hand, can he really sit back and watch his friend bind himself permanently to the only woman Luciel has ever loved; ever will love? If she marries his best friend, can Luciel really continue to live the life he’s worked so hard to build here?

“I’m finally going to ask MC to marry me,” Yoosung breathes, leaning forward the slightest bit. He reaches out and opens the small box, nudging it closer to his friend. “I’m almost done with school and soon will be able to provide for her as I should. Already, I’ve received a job offer with a small clinic in the next town; as long as I pass the final test that is,” he chuckles, adjusting his red-framed spectacles.

Luciel says nothing as he picks up the light box and examines the ring nestled in its pillow of velvet. He dare not touch the delicate piece of jewelry but twists the box around in his hand to peer at it from all angles. There is no doubt that it’s a beautiful ring. The medium sized diamond is set in a rose gold setting of a flower by the same name, while smaller stones line each side in a slight curve.

Yes, the ring is perfect, but not for MC. Luciel knows she will hate it the moment she lays eyes on it. Her words echo in his memory. _Yellow or rose gold is so...gaudy. Give me white gold or platinum any day...better yet, silver! Who needs to spend a fortune on diamonds when cubic zirconia looks exactly the same?_

He can’t remember what started the conversation about jewelry, but he’s always kept that snippet of her preferences filed away in her own personal folder in his head. _How did I let this get so far without saying anything?_ Because he’s a secret agent unallowed to forge any meaningful connections with people; much less even dream of taking a wife. Already, he can hear Vanderwood’s lecture. God knows he’s heard it enough. Finally, to save the older man’s breath, Seven built a robotic parrot to recite the supervisor’s spiel on demand, controlled remotely by Seven himself. Sadly, Vanderwood didn’t appreciate his efforts but since the metal bird also flies, there’s not much he can do to destroy it.

 _But what if?_ Luciel allows himself to wonder. _What if I could get away from the agency? I have the ways and means to keep us hidden and safe. If push came to shove, I could just sell my babies. That should keep us flush for years._ Instead, he sets the box back down on the table’s surface and musters a smile. “Congrats, man! When are you planning to pop the question?”

Yoosung licks his dry lips, his already big eyes growing larger. “Well, that’s where you come in.”

“You want me to ask her for you? What are we; in middle school?”

“No!” the mildly juvenile man denies then chuckles nervously as he glances around at the other patrons. “There’s a special place I want to ask her but I’ll need you to pick her up and bring her there. My night vision isn’t the greatest and I don’t want to take the chance that I mess this up.”

The intensity of Luciel’s heartbeat almost drowns out his friend’s words. Not only is he losing her to his best friend, but now has to be a participant to his own heartbreak? His hands begin shredding the abundance of greasy, balled up napkins littering the table, his mind trying to think of something, _anything,_ to get him out of this situation. He’s been infatuated with her ever since she appeared in their private chat room so long ago and most definitely in love with her since he met her at the first RFA party she attended. Grainy CCTV footage and the occasional phone call could have never prepared him for the reality of just how lovely she was in person.

Laying eyes on her laughing face made him think that maybe it was possible to escape the dangerous life he led. For her, he could find a way.

But Yoosung stepped up from the very beginning. Getting past his obsession with the cousin he worshipped and transferring that unhealthy affliction to MC. Sure, Luciel wanted them both to be happy, but at what cost? Not many had witnessed the anger and jealousy Yoosung keeps so well hidden. Could she be the one to soothe that demon inside him?

“Dude, I would love to help you out; I really would, but I am buried in work with Vanderwood up my ass every minute of the day. I was only able to sneak out now because he fell asleep on my couch. Why don’t you ask her while the sun is still out if your vision is the only obstacle?”

“It has to be tonight,” Yoosung insists, setting his elbows on the table. “It’s the anniversary of the night I asked her to be my girlfriend. I’ve planned everything down to the exact minute we became a couple. Tonight is that movie thing you guys do right? I know you always pick her up around seven so just do that but bring her to me instead of your house.”

Luciel’s brows furrow in confusion. _That’s not until tomorrow night. We always do movies on Friday. Wait…_ He pulls out his phone and checks the date. Sure enough, he’s managed to lose a day. Suddenly, he recalls the forty-eight hour stretch of time he worked almost non-stop to ensure he would have this very night free to spend with her. His days must have become confused after the deep slumber those two days caused.

“Come on, Seven, please,” his close friend pleads, his widened stare conveying his desperation. “You’re the only one I trust with her.”

 _You wouldn’t if you knew how often I jerk off to her._ Luciel’s guilt at the attraction he’s powerless to subdue eats at him as his friend silently implores him. No matter which way he looks at this situation, he’s screwed. Whatever loyalty he has left to Yoosung compels him to agree, even though that drive makes his chest ache in misery. _The only thing she’s ever going to be is a fantasy to you, Luciel. Get your shit together._

Heaving a sigh, Luciel rubs his tired eyes, displacing his spectacles in the process. “So you need me to pick her up and take her where, exactly?”

Seeing victory in sight, Yoosung leans forward in excitement. “You know that park near the university?” At his friend’s nod, he continues. “In the very back, there’s a picnic table almost completely concealed by trees and hedges. It’s kind of hard to find if you don’t know where to look, but I’ll be standing in the open so you can see me.”

“Why there?” Luciel questions, baffled at the specificity of the location. Yoosung blushes, his gaze dropping to the dotted Formica and he suddenly understands. _Jesus, can this get any worse?_ “Seriously? Your first time was in a public park?”

The younger of the two clears his throat awkwardly and shifts in his seat. “It...well...things just got...out of hand,” the conscience-stricken man mumbles, tripping over his words. His eyes dart up to the front door and the color in his face deepens. He snatches the ring box and shoves it into his satchel, his hands fumbling with nerves. “Don’t say anything,” he whispers with urgency, “about... _anything_.”

Luciel turns to see MC pushing through the restaurant’s glass door, a broad smile decorating her face. His eyes inconspicuously travel the length of her body. He admires the fullness of her breasts that strain against the buttons of the sleeveless blouse she wears and the gentle sway of her hips as she makes her way to their table. There isn’t one thing about her appearance that doesn’t drive a bolt of lust through him. Visions of wrapping her long ponytail around his fist to hold her in place as he kisses her until they’re both breathless and wanting flash in his mind. Blood rushes to his groin and he swiftly turns away, pretending nonchalance as she ruffles his hair in greeting.Leaning down she gives Yoosung a peck on the lips.

“Ready for tonight?” Her stare paralyzes Luciel, the beauty of her face rendering him temporarily speechless. “I have a list of movies that are going to make you pee your pants in fright!”

“Says the girl who was so scared last week, she wouldn’t go to the bathroom by herself,” Luciel counters with a grin, thankful to have found his voice and that it sounded normal enough. It wouldn’t do for Yoosung to get the barest hint of his feelings for her. Not if he ever wants to be near her again.

Yoosung’s brows lower in concern. “You went to the bathroom with her?”

“He stood outside the door,” MC answers quickly, laying a hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder in reassurance. “Seven was very gallant,” she comments with a soft smile.

Luciel’s face warms at her praise, his heart beating so fast he fears it may give out. As he watches, Yoosung stands and offers her his chair. He grabs another from a nearby table and crowds in beside her, sitting so close their shoulders touch. _God, Yoosung, give the woman some room to breathe._ She begins talking about her new job as a graphic designer, her excitement and passion for the new position eliciting a grin from Luciel. He’s never seen her so animated about anything before, and he’s thrilled that she’s found a career that she appears to enjoy immensely.

Soon he loses track of what she’s saying, too lost in the sweet cadence of her voice. It washes over him, making him imagine things he has no business thinking. His thoughts don’t consist only of what it would be like to feel her underneath him, moaning as he stretches her inch by inch until he is fully enveloped by her wet heat. While those lewd fantasies do visit him all too often, he also dreams of what it would be like to wake up in the mornings with her in his arms. To hear her greet him still half asleep, her beautiful voice low and drowsy. He yearns to know what it feels like to fall asleep next to her, the scent of her filling his senses as he drifts into more dreams of her. Every second of every day is what he wants with her and it’s something he can never have.

 _I bet her lips are so soft._ He stares at her mouth as she continues talking, fascinated with the shape and movement of them. Thoughts of kissing her flood his mind; his curiosity about her technique overtaking his good sense. If Yoosung catches him staring at her so intently, there’s no telling how he will react. Jealousy is a given, but the seething anger that seems to control him when he feels threatened is much more of a concern to Luciel. _Stop staring at her mouth._ His eyes drop to her chest of their own accord and he groans inwardly.

 _That’s not any better!_ He scolds himself mercilessly, but his eyes stay fixed on the gentle swell of her breasts. A hint of cleavage can be seen peeking out of the unbuttoned portion of her blouse. Luciel’s body responds to the daydreams that glimpse fuels, but still, he cannot seem to make himself look away. _...I wonder what color her bra is? Is it sexy or cute? I bet it’s something cute...everything about her is cute...and sexy. God, she’s perfect._

His eyes flick back up to her mouth, his body beginning to overheat with the improper images that continue to assault him. She licks her lips and the brief peek of her pink tongue invokes a yearning so strong, Luciel fears he may expire by spontaneous combustion. _Jesus, get it together, Luciel… But her mouth is beautiful… I wonder what it would look like wrapped around my-_

“...Seven?” she’s speaking to him and his eyes instantly dart up to meet hers. “Earth to Seven,” she giggles, waving a hand slowly in front of his face. The sound of her laughter does nothing to calm the inferno threatening to turn him to ash. It feeds the flames, and his groin begins to ache with unfulfilled desire. For an instant, he can swear he sees his hunger mirrored in her gaze, but it’s gone in an instant.

“Do you have a stomach ache?” Yoosung asks, his face concerned.

“Huh? No, why?” Luciel replies, confusion and lust making his comprehension sluggish.

“You groaned like you were in pain,” the disquieted male answers.

 _Shit. Time to go._ “Uh...no...I just remembered...I forgot to submit my reports. Vanderwood is going to kill me if I don’t get back and do that.”

Still, he remains seated, realizing if he stands the massive erection he currently possesses will be impossible to hide. _Just once, can I be around her and not react like a twelve-year-old who just hit puberty? How am I supposed to get rid of this boner when she’s staring at me with those eyes? Doesn’t she realize what she does to me? ...How is she supposed to know that, dumbass?_ He shifts in his chair, trying to relieve some of the pressure his jeans are inflicting. His eyes meet hers once again, and again he sees a brief flash of desire peeking through the innocence of her smile.

 _I’m imagining things._ It’s the only plausible explanation for the fleeting looks he’s reading in her gaze. _But what if I’m not?_ That’s the question that keeps him awake at night. This isn’t the first time he’s thought she was gazing at him with something other than platonic fondness. It has happened again and again, and it’s always so brief that he can’t be sure if it’s something that’s really there or wishful thinking. For the sake of everyone, he’s erred on the side of caution and assumed it is an invention of his own mind.

He opens his mouth to stall for time when Yoosung suddenly stands. “Shoot! I’m going to be late for class,” he explains apologetically, slinging his satchel over his head and leaning down to drop a kiss on the top of her head. “Sorry I couldn’t stay longer. Take care of my girl, Seven.”

The college student rushes from the restaurant, leaving Luciel staring at MC, his mind completely devoid of anything to say. She stares at him with a slight grin, her eyebrows raised. It’s obvious she’s waiting for him to say something but his thoughts are slippery and impossible to hold on to. In desperation, he blurts out the first coherent words he can grasp.

“I like your bra.” His eyes sink closed in mortification, his face on fire as helpless giggles begin sounding from her side of the table. _That’s one way to kill my hard on._ “Your blouse. I mean I like your _blouse._ ”

She leans forward and glances back and forth before whispering. “It’s black with black and white cats printed on it.” Luciel stares at her in confusion as she pulls down one of the unbuttoned ends of her blouse to reveal the edge of her bra.

 _I knew it...sexy_ **_and_ ** _cute._ Though his view was fleeting, the image of the smooth curve of her breast above the lacy trim of her undergarment is burned into his brain. _Abort! Abort! Get your ass out of here before your dick gets hard again! ...But I_ **_can’t_ ** _. Time alone with her once a week isn’t nearly enough. When am I going to get a chance like this again? It’s almost like we’re on a date… God, you’re pathetic, Luciel._

“Don’t tell Yoosung I just did that,” she pleads, her cheeks pink. “Even though it covers more than a bathing suit, he’d still blow a fuse if he knew you’ve seen my underwear.”

Luciel tries to smile, hoping the quivering of his lips is not noticeable. Being here with her like this is killing him. He wants to grab her hand that rests on the table’s surface and hold it tight; to run his fingertips over the soft skin on the back of that hand. “It’s our little secret,” he manages to say in a somewhat controlled voice, though he can’t disguise the thickness of it.

“Thanks, Seven,” she says gratefully and glances at her phone. “I still have a bunch of errands to run. Pick me up at the usual time?”

“I'll be there.”

“Seven at seven,” she grins, the color in her face deepening. “My favorite part of the week.”

Before he can form a reply, she’s on her feet and leaning down to give him a peck on the cheek. Her lips come dangerously close to the corner of his mouth and he forces himself to remain motionless. What he really wants to do is turn his head and capture her mouth with his; kiss her until they both forget who and where they are. Too soon it’s over and all he’s left with is the lingering whiff of her perfume.

“Smooth, mister,” a middle school aged boy smirks in Luciel’s direction. The red-headed agent glares at the young man and pulls out his wallet to toss some bills onto the table’s surface.

“Shut it,” he warns the boy then tousles his hair to take the sting out of his words. “Let that be an example of how _not_ to talk to a girl.”

Luciel leaves the restaurant and once he’s outside, takes a deep, cleansing breath. _“My favorite part of the week”... Mine too, MC...mine too._

 

********

Six hours later Luciel parks in front of the small duplex where MC resides and taps the horn twice in quick succession. She pops outside so quickly, he has to wonder if she wasn’t waiting for his arrival with her hand on the doorknob. In the time since she left him at the pizza place, he’s given himself numerous pep talks. However, no matter how convincing he sounded, safe at home, everything he’s managed to persuade himself into believing flies right out the window when he sets eyes on her.

It’s apparent, even from a distance, that she’s taken extra time with her appearance tonight. Instead of the usual jeans and t-shirts used to seeing her in on these nights together, he’s surprised to see the short black skater skirt that floats around the top of her thighs. The blush pink crop top with white leaf print she sports reveals a sliver of bare skin below it. She turns to lock the front door, and the flesh revealed by the criss-cross tie back makes his mouth dry.

 _There’s no way she’s wearing a bra with that._ He swallows hard at the thought, his eyes falling to her chest as she finally skips down the steps. The slight bounce of her breasts as she lands on the walkway and makes her way towards him confirms his suspicion. _I’m so fucked._

“Hi!” she greets him with enthusiasm as she slides into the bucket seat of the expensive car.

The smell of her body wash tickles his nose, the light scent of coconut provoking images of her lying on the beach. His mind dresses her in the skimpiest bikini it can conjure, and he averts his eyes in an attempt to stem the rapid flow of blood to his crotch. It does no good, however, and his cock begins to harden as his fantasy takes on a life of its own. His imagination turns her to her stomach, her hands reaching back to untie the scrap of material. She smiles at him over her shoulder in invitation, and his hands, slick with sunscreen, glide over the surface of her smooth back.

 _Shit! Think of something else._ In desperation, he casts around his jumbled brain for something, _anything_ , to take his mind off the phantom feel of her body beneath his wandering hands. _The Moon! That’s safe. Let’s see….twelve men have walked on the moon. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Pete Conrad, Alan Bean, Ala-_

“Seven,” MC prods, and he realizes he’s been sitting in silence for the past few minutes, fingers gripping the steering wheel with enough force to make his knuckles go white. “Are you...okay?”

“What? Who? Me?” Luciel lets out an awkward laugh, uncurling his digits and dropping his hands to his lap. “I feel a little underdressed,” he quips lamely, doing his best to be discreet as he pulls the ends of his hoodie closed to hide his erection.

“Oh,” she replies, her mouth forming a small “O”. Obscene images of how that ‘O’ would look wrapped around his cock makes him avert his gaze. The gloss on her lips has changed their usual petal pink to a deeper rose color. It takes everything in him not to bring his heated stare back to the alluring image of her mouth. In his current state of mind, he doesn’t trust himself not to give away the attraction he’s feeling for her. She glances down at her ensemble then looks back up with a shrug. “I guess...I just felt like being girly tonight,” she pauses and makes a motion towards the compact building. “I can go change-”

“No,” Luciel interrupts quickly, his hand reaching out to land on her bare knee. He jerks his hand back as if burned, his eyes darting up to lock with hers. Heat flickers in her bright orbs and disappears in a flash as her gaze drops to her hands resting atop her thighs. He clears his throat and starts the car. “You look...pretty,” he says softly, putting the car into drive and pulling away from the curb.  

“Thank you.” Her shy response prompts him to glance in her direction. The blush that stains her cheeks makes him smile.

 _Beautiful; I should have said she’s beautiful. Gorgeous...dazzling...fuckable. Jesus, why can’t I think about anything but sex when I’m around her?_ Lost in his thoughts, Luciel makes the turn to leave the city, forgetting the promise he’s made his friend. _Maybe I should go get laid? I don’t have Zen’s looks, but I’m not an ogre. There’s that new agent that started last week. She’s really flirty; maybe she’d be up for a fling? No...that could get messy. Besides...she’s not MC._ He steals another look at her then mentally shakes his head. _No, being with anyone else feels...wrong; empty even. Most of all it would feel like I was betraying MC._

As the lights of the city fade behind him, he suddenly recalls where he’s supposed to be taking her. Thinking of the question that awaits her, his heart begins to ache. _Not yet. If I make up some kind of excuse about why we’re late, Yoosung will buy it. I just need a little more time with her before she’s his completely._

Making a split second decision, he turns right onto a well-worn dirt road. “What’s going on?” she asks, trying to peer into the darkness outside her window. “This isn’t the way to your place.”

“There’s somewhere I want to show you,” he answers, praying the nervousness he feels doesn’t make his voice shake. “It’s not far.”

“Well, if it’s a place you like, I’m sure it’s worth seeing,” she replies. When he chances a glance in her direction, her smile makes his heart jump.

_For the love of God, please stop being so nice to me. It’s only going to make this harder._

The low car bumps along the old dirt road and Luciel tries, he really tries, to not glance at her bouncing breasts as the road appears to go on endlessly. It’s a losing battle, however, and he can’t help the covert looks he throws her way, enjoying the sight with more than a little guilt.

His eyes are on her when her face splits into a beaming smile, her eyes lighting up.

“It’s beautiful!” she exclaims, straining against her seatbelt to look up into the cloudless sky where millions of silver stars twinkle.

_Yes, you are. Yoosung doesn’t deserve someone like you. And you do, Luciel? Shut up._

He brings the sports car to a stop at the beginning of a long pier that reaches out into the middle of a still lake. The full moon reflects off the water’s surface and he can see the way the beauty of it enthralls her.

“What is this place?” she asks in a breathless voice, her eyes taking in the area illuminated blue by the moon.

After clearing his throat to ensure his emotions are under control, he speaks. “Just a place I come to for freshwater fishing,” Luciel answers. He runs an index finger down his nose in embarrassment before continuing. “The old man who lives here doesn’t have any family. I made sure he was connected to the internet, for free, and do some home repairs when I have the time. In payment, he lets me catch whatever I can.”

MC’s attention turns to him and Luciel is surprised to see her eyes glossy with unshed tears. “You’re such a good guy, Luciel.”

“You say that to the guy who is supplying him with illegal internet access.”

She shrugs with indifference. “Well, it’s the thought that counts, right?”

_God help me, can she be any more perfect?_

“Can we dip our feet in the water?” she asks, already removing her platform sandals. “The water looks too inviting not to.”

Not waiting for an answer, she tosses her shoes to the side and gives him a mischievous grin. “First one there gets a wish of their choice granted.”

In a flash, she’s out of the car and halfway down the pier before Luciel can even comprehend what she’s said. When the words finally sink in, he groans loudly. “Son of a bitch!” He flings open the car door but discovers he can’t exit. “Fuck! Seatbelt!”

Swiftly he extracts himself and tumbles from the car. Instantly he is on his feet to race after her, but with how much distance she’s already covered, he knows he hasn’t a chance of catching up with her.

As he approaches, she plops down onto the damp wooden pier and plunges her feet into the cool water. Releasing a sigh, she leans back to rest her weight on her hands.

He takes up the space beside her, folding his legs and shaking his head at her triumphant smile.

“I win!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles. “I’d have had you if my dumbass had remembered to unlatch my seatbelt.”

Her amused laughter shoots straight to his crotch and he shifts his weight in hopes of concealing it. “Alright,” he concedes in mock dismay. “You won, what’s your wish, my lady?”

Sitting upright, MC’s stare drops to her fingers fidgeting with the pleats in her skirt. A few moments of silence pass and a shiver passes through her body. “It’s colder than I thought by the water,” she remarks, gaze still on her lap.

Luciel removes his hoodie and drapes it over her shoulders, his heart stuttering at the smile of thanks she gives him. He stares out across the expanse of black water, attempting to calm his nerves. She still hasn’t answered his question and he’s beginning to suspect it’s a doozy. “Are...I mean….are you going to claim your prize?”

She chuckles and waves a hand in dismissal. “You know what? This was stupid. I shouldn’t have even made it a competition in the first place.

_Yep, it’s a doozy, alright._

“A deal’s a deal,” Luciel declares, clapping her on the back, shocked at the way she starts violently at his touch. “Come on, tell me,” he coaxes in a smaller voice, his heart beginning to pound furiously.

Her bright eyes finally meet his amber ones and she blinks, all amusement gone from her stare. “I can ask for...anything? And you’ll do it?”

“That’s the nature of a wish,” he grins.

Eyes closed, she takes a deep breath and finally blurts out her request. “I want a kiss.”

Luciel’s body heats to the point where he’s certain he’ll burst into flames at any second. There’s a vice squeezing his chest, making it almost impossible to breathe. His dick is rock hard and he prays the darkness hides his shame. He tries to force out a laugh that sounds more like a wheeze than anything else.

“You...wait, you want me to kiss you on the cheek, right?” As much as it kills him, he’s trying to give her an out. If this happens, things are going to change; things he can’t even comprehend at this moment will implode and their lives will be irrevocably different.

“No,” she whispers, shaking her head. “I’m a horrible person and an even worse girlfriend. Luciel, I’ve liked you for years; ever since the apartment. My heart would race every time I saw you in a chat room, and when you called, my fingers would fumble not to hit the wrong button. Hearing your voice made my days bearable, and I should have never let Yoosung believe I cared more than I do...did. After what he did for me, I felt like it was too late to say anything. I’m sorry, I know this complicates everything between you and me and you and Yoosung and me and Yoosung and I’m so-”

“Shut up,” Luciel whispers right before pressing his lips to hers.

Her lips are so much softer than he imagined and he can’t get enough of them. His hand rises to rest just below her ear, his thumb grazing her jaw as he finally gives in to the temptation that has been plaguing him for years. Every voice in his head screaming that this is a terrible idea is ignored in favor of the soft moan she emits at his gentle touch. He can smell the combination of her scent mixed with his wafting from the hoodie surrounding her, and his head clouds with lust.

He pauses, retreating only a hair’s breadth away to search her gaze. Trepidation, nervousness, and yearning are all reflected back at him. Returning to her mouth is as inevitable as the tides, and he once again captures her lips, this time making the hesitant move of running the tip of his tongue along their seam. She opens for him immediately and he groans. His arms move to embrace and gently lower her to the wooden planks below.

The original intention to bring her to his personal haven is lost somewhere in the haze of greediness as he straddles her hips. His palms cup her cheeks as his tongue slips tenderly into her mouth. To his surprise, she meets his with enthusiasm, instantaneously swirling around his with all the pent-up attraction he has been holding back all this time.

Her arms slide around his neck to pull him closer, her body arching up in search of contact. Slim fingers slide into his hair as she tilts her head, seeking greater access to his mouth.

Luciel’s hand caresses her bare midriff, his long digits gliding up and under the edge of her blouse. They graze the underside of one breast and he freezes, his common sense returning like a cold bucket of water being dumped over his head.

_What the fuck am I doing?_

He stands quickly, chest heaving as he stares down at her confused features. “This… That,” he pauses and clears his throat, turning his back to stare the moon’s reflection on the water. “That didn’t mean anything.”

“Luciel,” she prompts in a tiny voice. He can hear the wooden planks groan quietly as she sits and gains her feet. “That… How can you say that meant nothing? You don’t kiss someone that way without some kind of feeling motivating it.”

He steels himself for what he’s about to do, his eyes already burning. Turning, he grins and shrugs a shoulder. “Sure you can, I do it all the time.”

“I-I….I didn’t know you had a...girlfriend.”

“I don’t,” he says and forces a laugh. “I may be an agent but I’m no monk.” _Liar._ “Do you know how many women throw themselves at you when you tell them you’re a secret agent? It’s like they think you’re James Bond or something.”

MC wraps his jacket around her slender frame, the moonlight reflecting the unshed tears in her usually bright eyes. “You’re lying,” she whispers.

“Well, I _am_ a liar, but I happen to be telling the truth this time. Hell, I was with a girl last night with tits as huge as-  
“Stop,” she demands with a broken voice. The pain in her inflection causes him to halt his demonstration of how large said woman’s breasts were and drops his hands to his sides.  “I’ve heard enough. I get it; you don’t care anything for me. I should have never told you the things I did. Pl-please forget I-I said an-anything. I’m sorry.” Eyes downcast, she turns and runs back down the length of the pier.

 _Fuck you, Luciel. Fuck you and everything about you. Was breaking her that bad so important? Was it_ **_really_ ** _that fucking important to make her cry? How could you say that shit?_

Hating himself, he watches as she retrieves her sandals from the car and sits to slip them on. She tosses his jacket onto the dashboard and slams the expensive car’s door. To his dismay, she begins to disappear into the dark night in the direction they’d arrived and he takes off at a run to catch up with her.

By the time he’s back at the car, she is nowhere to be seen. He calls out her name, and receiving no reply, does it again at a loud yell.

“Leave me alone!” comes her tearful, terse response and the vice around his chest loosens. She can hear him; she’s not far.

Being unfamiliar with the area, he knows she’ll most likely follow the road back to the main street. Hurrying, he slides into the small car and pushes the start button, relishing the purr of the engine even in his haste. Not bothering with his seat belt, he makes a three-point turn, accelerating quick enough to make the wheels spit dirt and gravel in their wake.

It doesn’t take him long to find her. Walking in platform heels across unfamiliar terrain can’t be easy, but still he heaves a sigh of relief at the sight of her hunched back. She walks as quickly as she can manage, her arms crossed over her middle. Even from here, he can see her body shivering with cold.

He carefully pulls up beside her, rolling down his window to call out to her. “Come on, MC, get in the car. Those shoes aren’t made for walking and I can tell you’re freezing.”

Pausing, she turns to glare at him and holds out a hand. “Give me your jacket,” she demands, then as an afterthought, continues, “and your sneakers.”

Luciel gapes at her in disbelief. Is she really going to walk all the way back home? “Come on, don’t be ridiculous. Get in the car. I’m sorry for what I said.”

She remains mute, trembling hand held out in demand even as a single tear zigzags down her cheek.

_Jesus, Luciel, you’ve really done it this time. You couldn’t just let her down easy, could you? Or...you know...maybe accept what she was offering. It’s only the thing you’ve been hoping and dreaming about since you met her._

Shoving the car into park, he grumbles as he snatches the hoodie and tosses it at her, projecting the anger at himself onto her. Awkwardly, he removes his sneakers and also tosses them out the window, giving her a look with raised eyebrows.

“Do you expect me to thank you?” she scoffs and slips out of the impractical sandals and shoves her feet into his shoes. Once they are tied securely as she can make them, she shrugs on the hoodie and turns to walk away without a word, shuffling slightly in the oversized sneakers. If the situation weren’t so fucked up, Luciel might have laughed.  

“Where are you going?” Luciel calls out after her, not expecting an answer but getting one anyway.

“Away from you!”

To his consternation, she leaves the dirt road and ventures into the undergrowth, leaving him helpless to follow. Still, he jumps from the car and attempts to follow, shouting her name in desperation.

“MC, please!” he yells, tripping over an exposed tree branch and banging his knee on the hard ground.

“Stop following me,” she hisses and he startles, not realizing she was so close. _Damn if she wouldn’t make an excellent agent._ “If you cared anything about me or my well-being, you wouldn’t have kissed me the way you did then act like I’m just another whore.”

“That’s not what-”

“People have feelings!” MC shouts, her hands clenched into fists in her fury. “ _I_ have feelings! I’m not a program you’ve coded or a robot you’ve built. I’m flesh and blood, with a heart and a mind and....and…” Unable to continue, she swipes the back of her hand across her red, dripping nose.

“I’m sorry,” Luciel whispers the only words he can think of.

“Sorry doesn’t change anything,” she answers, doing her best to gain control of her emotions though her shoulders still jerk with silent sobs. “Sorry only makes the one who fucked up feel better. Just..stay away from me, Seven.”

_I can’t. I love you too much._

Instead of telling her the words that might repair what he’s broken, he sits motionless as she turns away from him once again and disappears into the thick foliage.


	2. To Have And To Hold?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three weeks after MC leaves Luciel, she's cut off all contact with him. But she forgot that anyone can access the messenger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GAH. Second chapter and this story is turning out much smuttier than intended. 
> 
> Thank you to [Emimilykity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emimilykity/works) for beta reading her own story. She's a gem and I don't know what I'd do without her.
> 
> Also thanks to [LittleGrim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleGrim/works)for planting small seeds of ideas that always seem to bloom into beautiful plots. Love you, girl!
> 
> Music:
> 
> Deep End - Birdy  
> You and I (Stripped) - PVRIS  
> War of Hearts - Ruelle
> 
> As usual, I hope you enjoy my hard work. :D

* * *

 

Luciel stares at his computer monitor, his fingers flying across the keyboard though accomplishing nothing. MC’s name is a string of letters across the screen, his thoughts where they seem to stay; on her. It’s been three weeks since that clusterfuck of a night where he finally almost got what he wanted and threw it away. Three weeks since lying his ass off to his best friend about why his girlfriend was never delivered to the park. Three weeks of not seeing or talking to her. Three weeks of pure hell.

How much knowledge Yoosung has of what happened that night is a mystery, but the young college student hasn’t contacted Luciel since. His mind otherwise occupied, Luciel conjured a flimsy excuse of car trouble and his phone dying on the same night. What were the odds? Either the younger man has grown out of his naivete and is able to guess what happened, or has been too busy with classes and his girlfriend to question it.  

Luciel has heard through the grapevine, however, that Yoosung had actually popped the question anyway the next day and MC had accepted. The details coming from her side are fuzzy at best. After what happened between them at the pier, he can be sure there is a whole lot more to the story about her shackling herself to a man she doesn’t love.

_Goddammit, MC, are you trying to punish me? No, you’re just being the selfless person you are. And I love you for it, but this is ridiculous. This is forever. But how can you even deter her from it? It’s not like you can admit her kiss shook you to the core._

After the second week, he broke down and tried to call her. Of course, she didn’t pick up; he knew she wouldn’t. Hearing her voice on the outgoing message was enough...for a few days. Then he started leaving rambling voicemails that he had to acknowledge, even to himself, that would go unheard. Now he’s a wreck, barely able to function without at least their movie nights to look forward to. For two days now, he’s been emailing her, begging for her forgiveness while still maintaining the kiss they shared wasn’t the life changing event it was. Nothing he has enticed her with has worked; tickets to see her favorite band, candy of the month club membership, numerous flower deliveries and his last ditch effort of a large donation made in her name to the local animal shelter.

His phone buzzes and his eyes flick to the device like a moth to a flame. A new chat room notification graces the bright screen, and he immediately snatches up the smartphone and opens the messenger app. He sees MC and Jaehee in the new room, and his hands begin to shake.

_Here’s my chance! Maybe she’ll talk to me if Jaehee is there too. If not, she’ll at least have to read what I type...right?_

He taps on the room’s title, his leg bouncing with impatience as it loads.  

 

 

 

 

 

Luciel releases a slow breath, his heart pounding. Has he been so obvious that even Jaehee suspects his feelings for MC? No, he’s been careful. At least, he thinks he has. It’s impossible to tell when he’s around her. She’s like a beacon of sunlight that blinds him whenever he’s in her presence. Does Yoosung know? Is that why he’s been incommunicado these past few weeks?

Again, no. If he had even an inkling of how Luciel feels about his now fiancee, there’s no way he’d let it go without confronting him. Yoosung is mild mannered about almost everything except the woman he considers his.

_Like she’s a piece of property. Jesus, how can I just sit back and let her marry someone who doesn’t know the difference between love and obsession? But how can I say anything? It’s not like I’m entitled to interfere in her life...but you could be. If…_

He pushes the unfinished thought aside, refusing to even indulge in such fantasies. His job is too dangerous to involve her in his life. While he may toy with the idea of escaping the agency somehow, he knows it would be almost impossible. It would involve a ton of blackmail and creative thinking. Two things he happens to excel at.

_Then maybe…_

He shakes his head and uses the edge of his desk to propel himself backwards. As he rolls, unbidden, memories of her soft lips invade his mind. His eyes close with the halt of his chair, the tip of his tongue running lightly along his bottom lip. His fingers wipe away the wetness with a gentle caress as he recalls the faint taste of spearmint on her tongue. If he thinks hard enough, he can still feel the lingering flavor on his own.

 _She loves me._ **_Me._ ** _How did that even happen? I’m nobody; nothing. A zero that managed to break her heart. Goddammit._

His eyes open as his head tilts back. He directs a huge sigh of frustration at the ceiling, his common sense conflicting with his heart.

_Agents aren’t allowed to have a heart._

The ache in his chest is a physical pain that contradicts his thought. He places a hand over the pang in his breast as his eyes burn with the impossibility of it all. A part of him wishes he’d never met her, but he can’t be sorry that he did. He can’t regret the way his body tingles around her; the way his heart races when she smiles in his direction. These weeks without her have been like floating in space with no tether to pull himself back in. There never seemed to be enough oxygen in the air. Without her presence, without the promise of her presence, he felt like a man drowning. While at one time, the solitude he’s been left in would be a welcome refuge. Now it just feels like purgatory.

_I can’t leave things this way. There has to be a way to at least salvage our friendship._

Saturday. MC is meeting Jaehee Saturday at noon to try on wedding gowns. Quickly, he rolls back to his computer and does a quick search on bridal shops in the area. There are only two, and the rush of relief demonstrates that his psyche has already formulated a plan.

 

* * *

 

_This was a terrible idea._

Luciel stands outside the bridal shop, trying his best to look inconspicuous as the minutes tick by. For what feels like the hundredth time, he checks the time and runs a hand through his messy hair. It’s forty-five minutes past the time she was supposed to meet Jaehee. He chose to show up at this establishment instead of the other due to the larger selection of simpler styled gowns. He knows she won’t want anything elaborate, so this was the logical choice. However, it is beginning to appear as if he chose wrong.

 _Shit. It will take me half an hour to get to the other shop and she could be gone by then. Or she could still be there. What am I supposed to even say besides ‘I’m sorry’?_  

“Get it together, man!” he exclaims aloud, drawing a strange look from a young woman who just exited the door a few feet away. He gives the girl a tight-lipped smile. “Sorry,” he apologizes, waving awkwardly.

_Jesus Christ, Luciel, you’re losing your fucking mind._

Lacing his fingers behind his head, he stares up into the blue afternoon sky and makes a decision. Nodding once in confirmation to himself, he lowers his arms and turns to leave and bumps directly into the woman he’s been thinking about for the past three weeks.

“Ouch,” MC mutters, rubbing her forehead that smacked directly into his chest.

“O-Oh, hey,” Luciel says lamely, at a complete loss for words.

His eyes drink her in, his heart beginning to pound so hard he’s afraid she’ll be able to hear it with ease. She stares up at him dumbfounded for a moment before her eyebrows twitch down in a scowl.

“Um, where’s Jaehee?”

“She was called in to watch over Elly. I think the better question is: what are you doing here?” Her tone isn’t exactly hostile but neither is it full of its usual warmth. He immediately misses the fondness she directs at him.

“I...uh...there’s this thing…” his words trail off. He’s unable to come up with a plausible excuse for being there, her nearness making his thoughts sluggish. Finally, he sighs. “I came to see you.”

“Why?” The blunt question holds no animosity, merely curiosity. Her head tilting slightly to the side.

“‘Why?’ Why do you think? I’ve been trying to contact you for at least a week.”

“I know,” she scowls again. “I don’t think there’s anything left for us to say. I made a fool out of myself. Case closed. Seeing you just reminds me of how stupid I was.”

“You weren’t stupid,” he blurts out, his face turning pink as she blinks up at him. “I mean...liking someone...isn’t stupid. And it’s not like I don’t care about you, MC. I just…”

“Don’t want me,” her stare drops to the sidewalk in embarrassment. “I got that the first time. You don’t need to reiterate it.”

_I am fucking this up astronomically._

"Look," he starts in a low voice. “I’m really flattered.”

She winces as if slapped and the sight tears his heart apart. Resisting the urge to draw her into an embrace, he instead places his hands safely on her shoulders. Even that small amount of contact sends a bolt of electricity through him.

_Why is this so fucking hard? Because I need her, that’s why._

Unconscious of the action, his fingers press into her flesh rhythmically as he tries to come up with the words to convey how much he wants her in his life but still keep her at a safe distance. The cruelty of his selfishness makes him feel dirty, but the feeling is preferable to the anguish he feels without her.

“Seriously, any guy would be lucky to have you; Yoosung is lucky to have you. The kiss we shared...it wasn’t bad, MC, it was just...I got caught up in the moment. The connection I thought was there just...wasn’t. In a way, I kind of wish is was because you’re so kind and funny and special and gorgeous…”

_Jesus, Luciel, don’t get sidetracked!_

“But it’s good that it wasn’t. I’ve never made it a secret that I can’t get involved.” His throat tightens and he pauses. Clearing his throat, he places a finger under her chin, tilting her face up to meet his gaze. He tries to prevent this voice from cracking with the emotions overwhelming him. He’s afraid if he messes this up now, he’ll lose her forever. “With _anyone_. I miss you. I miss being around the person who knows me better than anyone else. Please...tell me I didn’t completely wreck our friendship. I’ll do whatever it takes to be your friend.”

“Really, Mr. Bond?” she asks with a raised eyebrow.

Luciel grimaces. “That was not my finest moment. I panicked and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.”

“So...there was no woman?”

_Crap, she doesn’t miss anything. Arm’s length, Luciel._

“There was. There are...women...but the occasional casual encounter is all I’m able to manage. And you...MC, you’re anything but casual. Whatever could have happened that night is not worth destroying the years of history between us.”

She studies him, chewing on her bottom lip in contemplation. He can see the unshed tears in her eyes and hates himself for their presence.

_Please don’t cry. Not over me._

“Forgive me,” he pleads. “I’ll even get on my knees and beg if you want.”

“No!” she exclaims in a mortified shout as his legs bend to do exactly that. When he said anything, he meant it. He would walk across hot coals and chew on glass if she commanded him to.

“Then tell me what I have to do, MC.”

Heaving a sigh, she shakes her head. A single tear escapes and she dashes it away impatiently. “Why do you have to be so goddamn endearing? I miss you, too, okay?”

An involuntary grin curves his lips at her confession. “Does that mean I’m absolved of my sin?”

Shrugging off his touch, she narrows her eyes at him. “You know you are, you ass.”

Pure joy fills him, making him somewhat lightheaded. He’d done it. He’d managed to keep what small part of her he was allowed. His mouth opens of its own volition and almost undoes what he’s just accomplished.

“I could k-” he catches himself in the nick of time and snaps his mouth shut. _That’s what got you into this mess in the first place._

“You could what?”

“I could...help you pick out a dress,” he improvises then groans inwardly. _Seriously, Luciel? Break your own heart, why don’t you?_

She blinks at him in confusion. “I...guess you could. If you really want to.”

“Absolutely,” _not_ . _I definitely do not want to do that. Me and my big mouth._ Seeing no way out of the predicament, he presents his arm and she links hers through it with a smile.

Together, they enter the small shop filled with light-colored dresses and all the trappings needed to prepare a bride. She freezes just inside the door, her wide eyes taking in the assortment of formalwear stretching across the sales floor. Her fingers tighten on Luciel’s arm,  and he glances down to see her somewhat panicked expression.

“They’re just clothes,” he soothes, his hand coming up to cover hers. “And you don’t have to make a decision today. Just have fun trying on all the fancy things.”

She smiles up at him and his heart skips a beat. This may be one of the dumbest ideas he’s ever had, but staring into her bright eyes convinces him he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Realizing he’s staring, he clears his throat and pulls his gaze from hers.

“So,” he says with a certain amount of awkwardness, “what are you looking for?”

“Hmm, I think maybe...a wedding dress,” she shoots back with a grin.

“Ha ha, Miss Smart Ass,” he responds pulling her toward the closest rack of dresses. “Do you want something long, short, or tea length?”

“God, I don’t even know,” she sighs in indecision. “I haven’t even thought about it. I was never one of those girls that imagined what their wedding would be like. Now everything is happening so fast that I can’t even catch my breath.”

“Don’t panic. You are extremely lucky to have I, the master of all things fashion, to assist  you.” Luciel places his hands back on her shoulders and twists her side to side in assessment. He hums to himself in consideration then releases her to begin sorting through the rack.

“Something above the knee,” he states with confidence, his eyes roving over each dress before disregarding it. “You’re short...petite...you need something to make your legs look longer. Short skirt, high heels; does the trick every time.”

“I’m getting married, not going clubbing,” she mutters, crossing her arms as she watches him continue to veto dress after dress.

Luciel chuckles and shakes his head. “Still applies,” he insists and throws her a grin. Seeing the sour twist of her mouth, he shrugs. “I don’t make the rules. I mean we can leave, or you can try on this perfect dress I just found for you.”

He holds up a shapeless, laced-covered dress for her perusal. “It’s so...lacy,” she criticizes as she wrinkles her nose.

“It’s a wedding dress, it’s supposed to be...frilly,” he responds and gives another small shrug. Turning he grabs a confection of tulle and chiffon and holds it out. “You could always try this one. We can put you on top of the cake and you can serve as decoration.”

Biting her lip in an attempt to hide her grin of amusement, she snatches the lace dress from his hand. “I’d rather die.”

Luciel watches as she disappears into the fitting room, pulling the curtain shut. He sinks down on one of the brocade chairs presumably meant for waiting fiances or excited mothers of the bride. He rests his elbows on his knees and drops his head into his hands.

_That wasn’t so bad. I can do this. I can totally pretend like the smell of her doesn’t do crazy things to my head. That her smile doesn’t make my heart race more than running a mile ever has. I can watch her marry the man that’s supposed to be my best friend. I can totally spend the rest of my life alone while I watch them have kids and grow old together. She’s no good for you anyway, Luciel. She would completely turn your life on its head. You’d have to risk your life and hers to quit your job and even if you didn’t quit, if you somehow managed to make it work, she would always be in danger regardless. This is better, this is right. This is hell._

“Oh, don’t you look lovely?” The sales associate gushes in her best customer service voice. The woman has been stuck on the phone since they arrived, chomping at the bit to hurry over and make a sale.

Luciel lifts his head and freezes, the vision standing before him robbing his voice. Every single thought of how idiotic trying to build a life with her would be flies straight from his head. In their place play fantasies of watching her walk down the aisle to where he waits, gazing at her with devotion. He can feel her trembling fingers in his as he slips the ring in place, can see his tears of happiness reflected on her cheeks.

The ivory lace covered dress hugs her upper body like a glove, while a slight flare from the waist down makes the dress fun and flirty. The scalloped edges at the bottom falls just at the top of her thighs, doing a wonderful job of showing off her shapely legs. The cap sleeves enhance the slimness of her arms as the crystal embellished belt and A-line cut emphasizes her tiny waist. Luciel can imagine wrapping his arms around that tiny waist, his fingers easily spanning its length.

She turns in a small circle for her perusal, a bright smile gracing her lips. It evokes one in return and without knowing it, all the love he’s feeling is as plain as the nose on his face.

“So when’s the big day?” the sales associate asks kindly, clasping her hands to her  ample bosom as she raises her eyebrows in Luciel’s direction.

“Oh...I’m not…”

“June eleventh,” you pick up where his words have faltered. “Luciel said it would be the greatest birthday present ever.”

“That’s right,” he answers, jumping straight into the ruse. “Sweetheart, you look ravishing.”

MC drops her gaze to the beige carpet at her feet. Her body turning a deep crimson and Luciel doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything as beautiful.

“Would you like to try some veils?” the middle-aged woman is asking, heading towards a velvet rack of assorted wispy material.

“No,” he says firmly, his eyes never leaving MC’s form. “A tiara; nothing gaudy, just something small to compliment her beauty.” He moves closer, his head tilting to the side as he observes her. “And strappy heels,” he demands as an afterthought.

The saleswoman clicks her tongue in disapproval. “Don’t you know it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding? Much less help her pick out the tiniest detail.”

Luciel grins up at MC where she perches on a slightly raised pedestal. “I’m not too worried about it. Nothing can come between us.”

“Do you promise?” MC questions softly. Her eyes widening slightly as he moves to take her hand in his.   

“I’ll always be here for you, MC,” he answers, his voice just above a whisper. He doesn’t want to lie to her, and it’s as close to the truth as he can get.

The associate returns with the requested items and Lucel takes them from her hands and shoos her away. “I think we can take it from here,” he comments, then raises a brow when the solid looking woman stands her ground. “Don’t worry, you’ll still get the commission.”

The woman turns and leaves in a huff. Luciel shakes his head then holds out a hand to the bride to be. “My lady?”

MC bites her lip in hesitation for the briefest of moments then takes the proffered hand. He leads her to one of the brocade chairs and invites her to sit. Kneeling before her, he takes one slender foot in his hands, his pulse racing.

Doing his best to ignore how close her toes are to his crotch, he keeps his eyes on his task. Clumsy fingers fumble with the dainty clasps around her delicate ankle. The second foot is easier, though not by much. When the task is finally done, his hands instinctively skim up her bare calves.

Her perfume clouds his good sense and his eyes close to identify the subtle scent that stays just out of reach. Without thought, his hands slide up her thighs as he presses a light kiss to one knee then the other.

“You always smell so good,” he murmurs, his fingers digging into the yielding flesh.

Her breath picks up speed, and he can feel her hand hovering just above his thick, red locks.

_Touch me, MC. Just this once, touch me and I’ll never ask for more._

Almost as if she’s read his mind, her fingers run through the vibrant mane covering her lap. She traces a light trail along his scalp with her nails and he releases a heavy sigh of contentment.

_God, if you can hear me...if you’re really there...please allow me to stay this way forever._

“Luciel,” she breathes with uncertainty, and his head lifts to meet her gaze. Every ounce of hunger he’s feeling is mirrored back in her wide eyes.  

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers so low, that if not for the blush that spreads across her body, he’d believe she didn’t hear him.

_What are you doing? Stop touching her!...But she’s so soft. She feels amazing._

Before his mind can take the fantasy any further, he withdraws his touch and straightens to hold his hands out to her. They return to the pedestal, and he places the tiara smaller than his hand atop her head.

He grasps her shoulders and turns her to face the lighted three-way mirrors. “See? Beautiful.”

Instead of studying her reflection, however, her eyes are glued to the soft grin on his face.

“You should wear your hair up,” he’s saying, gathering her long tresses into a loose chignon. “You have a long, graceful neck, so you’ll want to…” His voice falters as his gaze finally meets hers in the reflective surface. The longing in her eyes causes his heart to skip a beat before it begins pounding furiously.

_Don’t look at me like that. Please. I can’t take it._

Blood rushes to his groin, and he tells himself to release her; to back away and keep going until he’s far, far away from the promise in her stare.

Instead, he lets her hair fall across one shoulder. His head moving in a slow descent; being sure to give her plenty of time to push him away.

His lips press against the curve of her neck and to his utter surprise, her hand raises to stroke his hair. Her head tilts to provide better access, a barely audible moan escaping her as he pulls the sensitive flesh between his teeth.

His arms encircle her waist, pulling her back against him and she releases a blissful sigh. “Luciel.”

Stooping slightly, he slips an arm behind her knees and straightens in one fluid motion. She instinctively wraps her arms around his neck and begins nuzzling his throat. He carries her to the empty dressing room and hastily closes the curtain behind them.

His mouth is on hers before her feet even touch the floor. Her tongue slides past his lips and he groans at the taste of spearmint he’s been fantasizing about for weeks. Their wet muscles collide and twirl, her fingers tugging at the hair on his nape with frantic desire.

Clever fingers unfasten the back of her dress. He pulls away to guide it down her arms to leave her white, lace bra exposed. Swallowing hard, he runs the tips of his fingers over the swell of each breast, enjoying the way she responds to the merest of touches.

_God, she’s so soft. And so receptive...I should stop before this goes any further._

“Touch me, Luciel,” she requests, her voice trembling with trepidation. Despite her fear, she holds her head high as she reaches behind and unhooks her bra where it falls silently to the floor.

Luciel’s gaze drops and takes in the sight of her nakedness. His eyes trace the pale pink areola, only a shade lighter than the nipples that harden from the unseen air conditioning. With a tentative hand, he reaches out and cups one full breast. His thumb grazes the hardened tip, and her eyes sink closed. Her fingers clutch at his biceps as her teeth sink into her lower lip. A  groan of which Luciel has never heard rumbling from her chest.

He pulls her against his body, her breasts flattening against his chest as he latches onto the roundness of her bottom. Her eyes widen at the evidence of his excitement. He pushes her against the mirror of the small room, and she makes no complaint.

“I love hearing those sounds you’re making, but if we aren’t careful, they’re going to kick us out of here; commission or none.”

She giggles with her fingers covering her smile and nods. “Sorry,” she whispers theatrically, “I forgot we weren’t alone.”

Luciel grins. “Then that means I’m doing my job.”

His head lowers to pull one sensitive nub into the heat of his mouth. She cries out and immediately slaps a hand over her mouth, her back arching. His hand covers the neglected mound and she whimpers, unable to keep her body still under his attention.

“Luciel?” she breathes, though she makes no move to stop him.

His mouth lifts from one now wet, pebbled nipple and places a small kiss on its tip. “Don’t worry, Babe. I got you.”

A hand grasps behind her knee to wrap it around his waist. His erection prods at her sex through the thin lace of her panties, and her head falls back in ecstasy. Deft fingers slip under the damp material and the knuckle of his index finger runs along the slickness of her folds.

_You need to stop, Luciel… I will before things get too far… You’re touching her pussy, Fuckwad, I’m pretty fucking sure things have gone too far._

Pushing aside the nagging voices of reason, Luciel grasps her nape and crashes his mouth to hers. His tongue plunges deep in search of hers, swallowing her cry of pleasure when his finger slowly slides inside her. His thumb presses against her clit and her head falls back to bounce softly on the reflective surface behind her.

“Oh God, Luciel,” she whimpers, her nails digging into him. “Does it always feel this good?”

Confused, he draws back to search her expression. “You don’t know?”

A flush that has nothing to do with the two fingers now buried inside her creeps up from her neck to bloom in her cheeks. “We...I mean...Yoosung doesn’t do this,” she finishes lamely, shifting her gaze to the side.

“But he said...in the park.”

“Oh...that,” she whispers. Disappointment painting her face as his fingers withdraw and he takes a step away. Her foot returns to the floor, and tears of embarrassment make her eyes appear glassy. “I...gave him a handjob there. He was too shy to reciprocate… He’s too shy to do anything, really.”

“So he doesn’t pleasure you...like, at all?” Luciel questions with an edge to his voice.

_What the hell are you thinking, Yoosung? You have the most sexual, beautiful woman at your disposal and you completely ignore her? I know you aren’t a prude. I’ve seen your porn stash._

“Oh! We kiss,” she answers, staring down at her fingers that twist and untwist in nervousness. “But if things get any heavier he...just...makes excuses to stop.”

“So, he’s never made you come?” Her wide eyes dart up at his blunt question and she shakes her head. “MC...are you...I mean..” His words falter, and he rubs the back of his neck in discomfort. There’s really no easy way to ask what he wants to know. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

She gives a slight nod of her head and continues to speak despite her obvious embarrassment. “I am...but...I bought a….thing...so...I know what an...orgasm feels like. But nothing feels like what you were just doing. That was...different…and so much...better.”

Her head is completely lowered by this point, her shame finally making it impossible to go on. Luciel stares at her bent head, his hands clenching and unclenching in an effort to control his baser instincts.

_Jesus, how am I supposed to refuse her? You have to...she’s Yoosung’s woman. So much his woman that he doesn’t even touch her. And she has a vibrator? God, do you know the things I could do to her with a vibrator?_

Lewd images play behind his eyes, and his cock twitches violently. He has to get out of this room before he changes the courses of all their lives. But, somehow, he can’t make his feet move.

“Luciel?” she says timidly, lifting her gaze to his. “I know it’s wrong, and I know we just made up but I can’t hold these feelings inside. I’m so much in love with you that you’re all I can think of. Most people would call me stupid for marrying Yoosung, but he does love me. And I care for him. But you...you’re one of those once in a lifetime kind of loves that I’ll never have,” she pauses and swallows hard against the lump in her throat. “I have no illusions that you’ll ever feel the same. So I will marry Yoosung to have at least a chance at happiness.”

Soft lips move over hers before she even sees him move. His long fingers clasp her shoulders and pulls her close, her naked breasts pushing enticingly against him. He pulls back long enough to slip his t-shirt over his head then embraces her fully.

_I love you, MC. I love you so goddamn much. That’s why there can’t be more than this between us. I have to keep you safe. I know you need the words and I just can’t say them. I would give anything to be able to._

Gentle fingertips skim up her spine, evoking a small tremor to run through her. He pulls her leg back up to his waist, skillful fingers taking up where they left off. Two fingers slip into her with no resistance and her, head drops to his shoulder as a long moan of desire escapes her chest.

The tip of his tongue traces the shell of her ear. “You are the most gorgeous creature I’ve laid eyes on,” he murmurs then sinks his teeth into a fleshy lobe.

Her hands work to loosen his belt, and a hand stops her by squeezing lightly. “You don’t have to do that.”

Her lust-filled eyes smile at him, and she shakes her head. “I”ve never wanted to touch someone as much as I do you.”

Her words shoot through him with the velocity of a space rocket and he assists her efforts to unfasten his jeans. The bare skin of her amorous hand touches the silken flesh of his cock, and his hips buck forward without thought. Her thumb passes over the head, gathering the large bead of precum that’s formed. She brings the soaked digit to her mouth and maintains eye contact as she sucks his essence from her skin.

“Are you sure you’re a virgin?” Luciel asks breathlessly, one hand kneading her breast.

She laughs and flicks his lips with her tongue. “Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I don’t know a thing or two. I love the way you taste.”

“You’re killing me here,” Luciel breathes, his body on fire.

He’s been with women before, that was no lie. Usually when field work required him to seduce a politician’s daughter…or wife...the agency wasn’t really picky in that respect. As long as the information was obtained and correct, they couldn’t care less how he got it. But nothing- _nothing_ -has ever felt this way. MC’s fingers glide up the underside of his erection. His heart pounds so fast, he fears it will explode at her delicate touch.The desire to take her here and now is a powerful urge he has difficulty holding in check.

It wouldn’t be impossible, despite her virgin status. His jeans are already halfway down his hips, and pushing the thin material that hides her from his sight can be easily achieved. She’s ready and eager to be filled. The copious amounts of arousal drenching his fingers is evidence of that. Three seconds; three seconds and he could be buried in her heat.

Wrapping her hand around the crucifix he still wears after all these years, she pulls him closer. The instant her lips touch his, her fingers tighten around his erection and he forgets how to breathe.

Her hips move against the rhythm of his fingers, each thrust forward ramming his thumb against the slick nub that throbs with pleasure.

_If she isn’t made for me, how do we fit together so perfectly? And not just in this way. I’ve never met a woman who gets me the way she does._

His hand fists in her hair, dislodging the tiara that falls to the floor with a ‘ting’. Her hand has picked up speed around his cock, her wrist expertly twisting as she gives him the greatest pleasure he’s ever known. His heavy breaths mingle with hers, but his eyes remain open, locked with her passion filled ones.

Luciel withdraws his soaking fingers to concentrate on her clit. She gasps as he gives the slippery bundle of nerves a light pinch. Her eyes sink closed, and he releases her hair to place a finger under her chin.

“Look at me,” he demands in a gentle voice. She obeys, and the kiss he bestows upon her holds every emotion he’s been holding back since he laid eyes on her. “I’m close,” he pants. “Are you?”

She nods and tries to close her eyes but he forestalls the action. “Keep your eyes right here, Baby. Remember who gave you your first. Now...come with me, Sweetheart.”

“But, I don’t-”

“Trust me,” he says with a tender smile.

His fingers increase their speed, and the tight grip she applies to his shoulder is a welcome pain. Her hips begin to move with him, the hand around his cock increasing its pressure and provoking a low groan from his chest.

_Not long now. Goddamn, she feels so fucking good. How am I supposed to give her up after this?_

He shoves the thought aside with enough force that his head shakes in denial. His palm returns to her nape and he presses his forehead hard against hers, watching the brightness of her eyes deepen into pools of carnal desire. Her body tenses and he knows it’s time.

Her whimpers begin to grow in volume the closer she gets to release and he places a very gentle hand over her mouth to muffle them.

His thrusts become almost brutal as he moves in her hand, his fingers so used to the quickness of the daily hacking of his job, that bringing her to orgasm is child’s play.

The first tremor hits her and he presses his open mouth to the curve of her neck to stifle his own cries of completion as he erupts all over her adept hand. Hot, thick pearls of ejaculate coat her fist, its presence supplying even more lubrication for her to continue to milk him of every drop of semen.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he pants, his chest heaving. Reality is rushing back in all too soon and it’s making him feel like a complete shit.

Staggering away from her languid form, she slides down to the floor, her back resting against the mirror. Luciel retrieves her discarded undergarment and holds it out without meeting her gaze. He snatches up the conveniently placed box of tissue and tosses it to carelessly.

“Uh...to, you know...clean off your hand,” he explains awkwardly, chancing a glance in her direction.

There are tears running down her cheeks as she sits on the carpeted floor, still naked from the waist up. “I thought-” She stops and shakes her head. “Nevermind, it was just a stupid thought from a stupid girl.

She snatches several white tissues from the box and attempts to erase any traces of him from her skin. Looking up, she notices he’s still there and narrows her eyes.

“You got what you wanted; you can go now. Though I will give you credit for sticking around longer than my fiance.”

With her last word, she breaks down, huge sobs shaking her shoulders. She draws her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees.

_I shouldn't have shown up today. I should have just stayed away from her; I've only made things worse._

“MC,” he attempts with a soft voice, kneeling before her and reaching out to touch one shaking shoulder.

She jerks away from his touch and his heart cracks. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” she asks tearfully.

_I wish to God I could. I never asked to need you this much._

“MC, I-”

“Do you love me?” her question is asked with a raised chin, defying him to lie to her. “You seek my company. You didn’t have to show up today, but you did. I know you watch me sleep when I’m crashing on your sofa. I see the way you look at me when you think no one is looking. So is what just happened enough for you? Did you finally get it out of your system? Am I the only one who feels _anything_ between us? Because I think you do, and I think it scares the shit out of you.”

The silence stretches between them and Luciel realizes she’s not going to back down until she gets an answer. His head drops, his hands clenching between his knees. She has the right of it. She’s always been able to read him like a book, and he must have been delusional to think she wouldn’t figure out how he feels. He licks his dry lips and runs this hands roughly through his tousled mane.  

“If I do...or I don’t….there’s no future for us, MC. So answering that question is pointless.” He stands and turns his back to pick up the tiara forgotten on the floor. “You really did look beautiful in this,” he pauses and sets the piece of jewelry on the arm of one of the chairs. “You were even more beautiful when you came.”

With that, he exits the dressing room without looking back, ignoring her cries for him to return; cries that devolve into wordless sobs as pushes through the glass of the front door, her misery still echoing in his ears.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, I made a Tumblr and a Twitter even though I really have no idea how to use them lmao If you'd like to see retweets and reblogs of pretty boys you can follow me here:
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cooladrianamorganstuff
> 
> AND/OR
> 
> https://twitter.com/AdriMorganAO3


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